Who’s afraid of alligators?

An alligator encounter was on my mind when I set out on a canoe expedition on my second day in Florida.

Having been assured by the man handing out the life vests and paddles, that they were unlikely to bother us “as long as we didn’t go feeding them”, we set out down the river fairly confidently. The same man had told us that we wouldn’t need a map, as there was no chance of getting lost in the river… If his tips about navigation turned out to be as accurate as his alligator advice, we were in trouble!

My colleague and I had decided to take in the natural beauty of a riverside location before the start of a week of meetings. Paddling out on the tranquil, if rather brown looking river, seemed like the perfect way to get over jetlag and soak up the sights and sounds of Florida’s wildlife.

Apart from alligators, we’d been told we might see dolphins and manatees, so our eyes were peeled. I hadn’t done my homework on manatees and kept calling them Manta Rays. To be honest, I really wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for, even if the water had been clear.

Paddling gently didn’t seem to require much effort as we glided with the outgoing tide leaving the lawns and riverside houses behind, the river widened out and the banks were filled with overhanging trees and thick roots mining their way into the shadowy water.

We’d set out first thing to avoid the midday heat and intended to spend a leisurely hour or two on the river. After spotting a few dolphins fishing just ahead of us, we also spend time looking at various big birds perched on trees beside the water. A couple of pink and white ones turned out to be spoonbills and we were certain we saw some kind of white headed eagle, there were also herons and egrets. It was very peaceful, with hardly any other boats in sight.

After less than an hour, we enjoyed a break from the sun under the shade of a road bridge, where we decided to turn back. We’d been paddling back upstream for some time, when we both thought the journey back seemed to be taking longer – surely we should be starting to see houses and lawns running down to the water again by now? The sun was getting stronger and our water supplies lower, I tugged my hat down and was thankful I’d put on sunscreen.

“I don’t remember this bit, do you?”

Something was wrong. We realised we must have taken a wrong turn and spotted a different stretch of water just across another bank. We wondered if it was the main river. We definitely hadn’t been this way before. We’d been out more than two hours at this point and decided to pull up the canoe – alligators or not – and see if we could work out where we were, even if it involved dragging the canoe across to the right part of the river. There were no boats about and no houses… no one to ask. So, we did the normal thing and got out a phone to check on google maps for our location. What a relief we’d taken a phone for photos!

It was however, a bit of a shock to realise we were a long way off course, down a parallel tributary and long way from where lunch was being served with the rest of our team!

The way back felt hard. The wind was against us, the tide was ebbing out and the heat had intensified. I wasn’t thinking alligators, I was just thinking, “Please let’s find the right route back!” 

We spotted a huge cross in the distance which we’d seen before and began heading towards it, only for it to disappear again. Distracted by dolphins, birds and boats speeding down parallel waterways, we continued to flounder and decided it was time to stick rigidly to google maps, checking every turn, so that we wouldn’t end up spending the night on the river. (Where are the RNLI when you need them?)

We were tiring too after more than three hours paddling in over 30 degrees. Steering became a bit of a problem and after being directed down yet another dead-end tributary by a couple sunbathing in their boat, our patience was beginning to fray. The canoe ploughed into more mangrove branches than I care to admit and at one point we had to shuffle through the shallows because we were too tired to get out and lift the canoe.

When we eventually turned the corner and saw the other canoes pulled up on the grass it was a huge relief to make land after more than four hours on the river. Thankfully there was a swimming pool to cool off in and plenty of astounded colleagues to hear our story and shake their heads… There seemed to be one common denominator in recent expedition errors and getting lost and that was me!

We heard a news report later that same day, about how a woman’s torso had been found in the mouth of an alligator not far from where we’d been paddling. That felt a little close for comfort.

A week or so later, I had second thoughts about borrowing paddleboards offered by the bed and breakfast place. They had wanted us to sign a disclaimer and said, “Be aware – the waters are murky, and you are not at the top of the food chain!” 

I did eventually spot a little alligator down in the Everglades – safely viewed from the seat of an airboat. That was quite enough alligators for one trip!