A love story isn’t a love story without some ups and downs, or twists and turns. So maybe that explains the rollercoaster ride my son and his new wife have been experiencing the past few months.

2020 has turned out to be a difficult year for anyone planning a wedding, but it has certainly made them memorable events.

Our youngest child has, according to his two siblings, “had it easy”! He benefitted from all the struggles they went through, reaping the rewards after their battles with parents over hard won freedoms, forbidden toys, curfews and parties, travel plans and even it seemed a stress-free wedding. That was how it looked back in February when planning was going well and the coronavirus was a troubling situation on the other side of the world.

After a weekend of finalising arrangements for the big day in July, he said, “I think it’s pretty much sorted.” His biggest concern was whether they had ordered enough barrels of beer. But none of us knew what was around the corner.

As the country edged into lockdown in March, we hoped it would be short and sharp and back to normal by the summer. But a couple of months in a postponement began to look inevitable. Later in the summer I spotted their flowery wedding invitation on my mother-in-law’s mantlepiece, with the July date crossed out and a September day added in. It seemed to sum up the year. A year of crossed out plans and rubbed out holidays, yet still not confident about adding in the new dates. None of us knew what was ahead.

Their hopes to see wedding numbers increased to the 140 they had invited were crushed and as September drew nearer we all realised 30 was going to be as high as it would go. The wedding couldn’t be exactly as they dreamed. There would be no singing in the service, the congregation would wear face masks and covid rules would need to be kept – but it would be their day. It would be special and intimate and their immediate family, plus a few friends would be there to join in that familiar response in the service, when they were asked if they would support them in their marriage in the years ahead, by saying: “We will!”

We were all looking forward to the wedding, but just a couple of days before, as many of us were en-route to begin preparations, local restrictions struck.

When you lose something precious the first time, you are really sad. You mourn the loss and eventually you move on. Then perhaps you find the lost something or buy a new one. But if you lose it again, does the pain get less or maybe you just don’t let yourself feel it so much the second time? Thinking, ‘well I lost it before and I got over it, so I will get over it again’.

I can’t imagine how they felt two days before their wedding when they heard about new local restrictions and weren’t sure if the whole day would fold. It was another body blow for them both – yet more disappointment – I didn’t know if they would be able to bounce back. I wanted to curl up in a ball and weep myself. This painful uncertainty was combined with the news that a good friend would not be able to attend as she had to isolate after a flatmate had tested positive.

And yet they were lucky. The next morning they discovered, to everyone’s great relief, that the day was able to go ahead legally and the reception was also allowed. We didn’t do everything as planned, but it was an amazing time. The sun came out, there were smiles and laughter, along with tears. Emotions ran high, after all the “will we won’t we” of the days before it’s not surprising.

The many friends and family who couldn’t attend joined in via zoom and even the speeches were filmed and shared later, while a couple of very talented photographers captured the most precious memories from the day and absent friends and family sent in hilarious video messages.

Life doesn’t always go as we’d planned and relationships are also full of ups and downs. However, it’s only through experiencing those very low times that we can appreciate the highs and the happiness. The groom’s brother recently announced that he’d much rather have a life with big highs and lows, despite the pain and even the fear, rather than live life on the level, never experiencing the depths of emotion from a leap in the dark or a mountain top view.

I am sure there will be many more rollercoaster climbs and dives ahead for the new Mr and Mrs Farmer, and for all of us – let’s try to enjoy the ride.