Tag Archives: covid-19

A tasteless Christmas?

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However isolated I may feel, I am one of more than 10 million people in the UK who have tested positive… so I am not alone!

I suppose it was almost bound to happen at some point and on the plus side I am getting it out of the way before Christmas. I am also feeling thankful that I’ve picked it up after having two vaccines and the symptoms have not been much worse than a bad cold. Only one thing took me by surprise – the complete loss of taste and smell which descended after a few days. It seems that was my early Christmas gift from Covid-19.

A bit like running water or flushing toilets, our senses are something we can take for granted while they’re working fine. Overnight the world became a different place and so many wonderful smells that fired the imagination or stimulated the taste buds had vanished. A cup of tea tasted more like dishwater and the roast ham being carved in the kitchen, might as well have been dolls house food. I’ve never experienced such a complete loss of taste and smell, and it was devastating.

What is the point of preparing a meal, when you can’t look forward to the taste driven by the delicious scents from herbs and spices? The only sensation in each meal was that textures varied, but everything tasted pretty much like cardboard. Flavours had become a distant memory, which I was desperate to rediscover.

I hadn’t realised how much my own well-being was influenced by food and how much sitting down to a lovely meal could affect my mood. When the food on your plate might as well be straw, what’s the point of cooking or eating? It just becomes about getting energy into your body and allaying the empty feeling in your stomach. 

I hoped it wouldn’t last long, but two or three days in I found myself inhaling fresh coffee in the hope of catching a whiff of something… However, it smelt just the same as the sleeve of my jumper. The only plus side was that bad smells had also disappeared – but that meant sniffing the milk to see if it was still OK didn’t work anymore.

A week in and there was a tantalising glimpse of hope, when I cut a slice of lemon and tasted the sharp tang – a flavour at last! Gradually little hints of scent are developing and with it the faintest flavours are being rediscovered. 

This afternoon I stuffed my face against the branches of the Christmas tree and dreamed of piney aromas. Was there a hint of pinecones somewhere, or is that just my imagination?

It looks like Christmas now – the tree is glittering with lights – but I can’t smell it yet! 

However, I live in hope that by Christmas Day I may be able to smell those mouth-watering dishes and the scent of fresh pine will be more than a distant memory!

in the father’s hands

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It’s been the strangest few months – hence my lack of blogs.

Lockdown and the effects of the pandemic have been a unique experience for us all and each of us has reacted differently. I’ve admired the resilience of fellow writers and creatives who have churned out books and continued to expound their thoughts and feelings over the past year. Often this has been a channel for very real anxiety, frustration and confusion.

And yet I have found myself frozen and silent on the side lines, like a spectator in the stands of an England football match, looking on in fear. 

Watching England play on Tuesday night reacquainted me with all the stress of supporting your national team, the intakes of breath as the opposing team take a shot at goal. The rising hopes and then that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as you watch them trying to set up a goal, only to give away the ball to the other side, who dance it dangerously away towards our open goal. It’s stressful to watch and I have to confess to spending many England World Cup games in the kitchen, unable to cope with the edge of the seat nerves.

So, while some of my fellow creatives have been either launching themselves into the field or standing waving and shouting in the stands, I have been stuck to my seat, unable to understand my emotions and unable to form coherent or appropriate words for each twist and turn of the pandemic.

One author has really helped me shine a flickering candle on what might have been happening and helped me see I am not alone. Catherine Fox’s Tales from Lindford has turned out to be a cathartic read.

Always a fan of the author’s stimulating writing and delicious irreverent humour, I dived into this new offering hoping for an escape from the dismal headlines. The book was written in real time during 2020 and charts the characters experiences and reactions to what was happening. It took me back to the days before we’d even heard of Covid-19, the need for face masks and before vaccines. It reminded me of the journey we’ve all been on. More than that, as I read some of the feelings and thoughts of the various characters, I recognised my own emotions and mixed up thoughts. For many there were no words, no neat explanations, no clear way through the loss, the sadness and the mess. Like one of her characters Freddie, there have been so many times in the past months when I have just wanted to scream a very loud expletive at the top of my voice.

I am still struggling with words, both in my head and in print. The pandemic has shaken my foundations – there could be cracks, I daren’t look too closely – but they are still standing at the moment. Let’s see what happens next and where we are at the end of the summer.

One phrase has been going round my head for the past few days #inthefather’shands. I’ve found when I lack words, I can trust in God’s Word to help me keep taking the next step. 

“…no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10.29