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About Rachel Farmer-Reay

Freelance writer and communications professional

how much seasonal sparkle?

We all need a bit of sparkle in our lives, but the trick is not to overdo
it…so how much glitter and bling is too much for the first Christmas party of the year?

The other day I read that women spend more hours planning their outfit for
the Christmas party than for any other occasion…I can’t quite believe
that, what about a wedding for instance? Anyway, there was a whole article
devoted to the perfect party dress and accessories. I am certain I’m not
among this set of highly researched women who spend weeks planning their
outfits, however, I did spend half of yesterday sorting out what to wear
last night.

This involved trying on a couple of dresses I already had, choosing the one
with most sparkle in it, then unearthing the highest pair of heels I could
find. It was a good start, but something was missing…the bling or sparkle
factor was pretty low. So I hunted round the house for something red and
shiny…found some small red baubles and attached them to some earring
clasps – hey presto, I was practically a walking Christmas tree. My next
mission was to find some tights that had a bit or sparkle to them and
something for my hair. I decided against sprinkling glitter onto an old pair
of tights covered in glue, so sometime later and several shops on I returned
home with some expensive tights with sparkles on the sides (shhh, don’t
tell the Major!) and glittery hair bits.

I thought I had got it about right, but you never know until you arrive how
other people are going to interpret the invitation to dress as glitzy and
glamorous as possible. Infact, I was pretty understated if I compared myself
to some of the party-goers….we had someone in a tutu, who really did
belong on top of the Christmas tree, others in very short shiny red and
sequins and then there was the very classy ladies in black with touches of
sparkle here and there. Some of the best accessories were the reindeer
headbands and the Christmas tree glasses…not forgetting the flashing Santa
brooch. Compared to all this glamour and bling, my red baubles and diamante
encrusted tights weren’t going to cause a stir…although they were
commented on, so I figured it was worth the trouble.

This particular party was unusual in that it was a fairly exclusively female
event…apart from the interval when Santa arrived, accompanied by two elves
and a supermarket trolley full of presents. There was ‘no comment’ to
questions about what had happened to the sleigh, presumably something to do
with the economic climate. The night also set the bar quite high for all the
other Christmas events coming up; with great food, good company, pretty
presents and singing, to top it all we each had our own bubble pots to add
to the sparkle in the room.

Following last night, there are a few essentials I am adding to my
pre-Christmas shopping list which will include an appropriately silly and
glitzy headband to wear to church on Christmas Day and a bottle of spray
glitter perfume, plus a lip gloss with a light and mirror on it. Thank you
ladies on my table for the inspiration! You may not be a fan of glitter and
sparkle, but I think Christmas is the one time when you probably can’t have
too much….now I am off to hunt down the tinsel and little lights because
it is actually starting to feel a bit Christmassy here, despite the
sunshine.

ghost town with attitude

I don’t want to spread alarm, but yesterday I came face to face with part of the island’s underground army…
After a pleasant stroll along the cliff tops, we decided to take a peek at what would normally be a very busy tourist beach, lined with expensive hotels. Driving down through the network of shops and apartments towards the sea front, we began to feel like we were heading into a Wild West ghost town. What had been buzzing cafes and restaurants, now had their curtains drawn and instead of an array of tourist shops selling anything from buckets, spades and blow up rings to shell jewellery and ‘hand-made’ Cyprus pottery, the windows were plastered with paper and the stalls outside had disappeared. The pavements were empty as well and every house and apartment in all shapes and sizes appeared to have its shutters down or blinds pulled. The streets were dusty, there were no other cars and the sky was slightly overcast, while remnants of newspaper and packaging blew across the road. The atmosphere was eerie. And then we spotted them…

First there was one, slinking slowly across the road in front of us, then another sat watchfully on a wall, its eyes following the car as we passed. A glance to the left and two more were heading down a side road…the streets were filled with cats. As we turned a corner, one particularly huge ginger beast, that looked more like a lion than a cat, crossed the road and strode menacingly towards a raised area outside an empty shop. The cats appeared completely at home and had now become the main residents of the area. They owned this place and no-one could challenge them – at least that’s how it felt. Instead of the mangy underfed specimens we had seen in the summer scuttling between restaurant tables for food, these cats were large and well fed, confidently patrolling their home territory.

As we drew into the empty car park, surrounded by buildings, a wide path between two hotels was all that separated us from the beach. But before reaching to open the car doors we both hesitated and glanced around. They were here too and not just one…there was a tortoiseshell sentry sat boldly upright at the top of the path and his bright green eyes were watching us. In the top corner of the car park another pair, a ginger and a white and tabby cat, were pacing. It certainly felt like an organised group patrolling their area. We decided to take our chances and boldly headed down to the sea, hoping to leave the cats behind. As we turned left along the decking walk beside the sea, there was no-one to be seen. All the umbrellas and chairs had been removed from the hotel grass and a solitary line of white sun beds had been left in a row on the beach, where a lone waiter was settling them in line. The sea looked a bit more English, more grey than blue, with just two swimmers a few metres out, their heads bobbing in the water.

Suddenly I spotted a movement on my left and very large tabby cat appeared on the walkway striding towards us. We hesitated…but it was just a cat, after all. Further ahead two more were munching on something on the slope leading down to the beach, there was another weaving its way in amongst the deck chairs as it ‘patrolled’ the beach. We were surrounded. It felt like a ‘Dr Who’ set where cats had taken over the world and the humans were just their staff. I let out a sort of nervous laugh, what harm could they do, they were only cats? Then as a very well fed black and white specimen began approaching, I stepped away quickly. They had a knack of making us feel uncomfortable, as if they were saying – “What are you doing here off season?”

Time to move on. After a quick swim, during which I fretted about cats running off with my shoes and towel, or worse the car keys, we headed back to ‘cat car park’. We were escorted back up the path to the car by another couple of sentries, who sniffed at the tyres and watched us change. Glancing back as we sped off in the direction of normal civilisation, I could see them crouched at the top of the path again. There were no waves goodbye, they were just watching and waiting. I don’t know what they were waiting for, but I had a feeling they knew something we didn’t. Could it be someone was coming with food, or are they in fact busy planning an invasion right across the island? Watch this space for updates.

a bit of a pickle

Friday night found me caught as a stowaway between the set of ‘Hornblower’ and ‘Master & Commander’.
If I told you Lord Nelson’s body was ‘pickled’, in order to preserve it on the way back to England after the Battle of Trafalgar, would you believe me? Until Friday night I was swallowing this story hook line and sinker, as we set out for our first Royal Navy dinner, named ‘Pickle Night.’ Stepping on board at the start of the evening and enjoying a drink on the poop deck, or something like that, I realised we had set sail on HM Pickle. The occasion was the 208th anniversary of HM Schooner Pickle’s return to England with the news of victory at the Battle of Trafalgar.

I had thought there were lots of rules and regulations at Army dinners, but this was a whole new league and language. There was a list of ‘orders’ to be complied with, and we were told failure to do so would result in ‘punishments’. There were white uniformed sailors with gold, bling, buttons and medals at every corner. We were allocated to a table and I could almost feel the boat rocking as we sat down surrounded by the ‘sea’ on all sides, while rushes of Hornblower played on a massive window screen at our backs, we looked out on the Battle of Trafalgar through the stern windows of the boat. Russell Crowe, alias a Naval bigwig, sat at the top table in front of the square-paned panel of windows and according to the ‘orders’ on our table – those seated at the top table can do no wrong! So, we kept an eye out in that direction.

You know you’re at a Navy dinner when the evening starts with a song. This was one I knew – What shall we do with the drunken sailor? – but rather than being judged on musicality, the competition was for port and starboard sides of the room/boat to make the loudest sound…yes, it was going to be one of those evenings. I soon discovered the man on my left was ‘a beer monkey’ and it was his job to make sure the drinks on our table kept flowing, so he frequently jumped up into the middle of the room to fill a jug with beer from the barrels on tap. He was the only one allowed to move off the table without permission. First problem of the night – what about the toilets? I started to slow down on the drinking, but it was a relief that before long Russell Crowe announced – ‘ease springs’. At first I thought this was something to do with the tides – neaps and springs and that kind of thing – but when everyone began to push back their chairs and head rapidly in the direction of the toilets, I realised it was Navy speak for ‘loo break.’ Easy when you know how.

There was plenty of lingo to keep up with all evening – including an introduction to the contribution the Navy has made to the English language. Instead of a table mat, we all had big square wooden trays in front of us, which held our plates and glasses. This is what sailors would have eaten off on board in Nelson’s day – the sides obviously stopped the food and drink spilling everywhere when the boat was tipping. It was also the origin of the term – a square meal. The menu was a mine of information and I learned the origins of terms like ‘pipe down’, ‘loose cannon’ and ‘loaf’. The last one is a particular favourite and means ‘the idea of not doing any work whilst giving the appearance of beavering away.’ Something to perfect for the future. There were also plenty of rules that could be easily broken, such as taking a sip of port before the Queen was toasted. Can’t remember if I did, but at least no-one saw me. I was shocked though, that the Navy chaps remained seated when we all stood to toast the Queen…apparently this is what they do on board ships, but seems a very shoddy habit to me.

Everything boaty was in abundance and while oars and anchors served as decorations, our pudding was a chocolate boat filled with rum and raison ice cream. Then we came to the rum. Rum rations, I believe were abandoned in the Navy some time ago, but on this particular evening it served as a kind of discipline. After we had learned all we would ever need to know about the Battle of Trafalgar, cheering each time the name of Nelson was mentioned, so it took some time, there was the list of culprits and their misdemeanours to be read out and dealt with. Punishment took the form of ‘knocking back’ a considerable shot of rum and your crime could be anything from just being an army captain – that is, impersonating a naval officer – to having a French sounding name. I did think that was quite funny. All good things have to come to an end and so the evening did – earlier for some than others. But what of Nelson being ‘pickled’? I don’t think so, Pickle Night, was all about the Pickle vessel and nothing to do with transporting and preserving a dead sea lord, which was quite a relief. So whoever started that rumour please stop it, I’ve been having nightmares ever since.

Unexpected visitors

Last week marked the departure of our last guests of the season…or so we thought.
It was Monday morning and I was thinking about getting up, when I was summoned to the garden, where two of the tiniest kittens I have ever seen were crawling up on a windsurf board by the fence and crying plaintively. Both of them started to run towards me and then one went under the car. They were no larger than my hand, but very cute looking, with pleading blue eyes.
One of us had to get to work, so it would be down to me to see where they came from and try and find someone who could look after them. I went inside and poured milk into a plastic plate, hoping they could lap it up. Setting it down near the gate, they rushed towards it and started dipping their heads towards the liquid, not quite sure what to do. But they were obviously thirsty and it wasn’t long before they seemed to be lapping some of it up and still looking at me and crying. Kittens’ cries are not like cats meowing; they are sort of squeaky and sound a bit desperate.
kittens
We are not big cat lovers in our house, having had a dog that chased them out of the garden for many years…but this was difficult. Next plan was to phone a friend who liked cats and might help take them. The trouble is in Cyprus there are hundreds of cats and kittens, many feral, who are often seen scavenging for food outside restaurants. So there is no demand for kittens, however pretty and cuddly they look. Our Aussie neighbour was sympathetic though; he came across to see them and lent me a cat box and some food.
“Give them evaporated milk diluted with water or they’ll get the runs,” he explained, “and you don’t want that!”. He already has several cats and I wondered if he’d like these as well.
“No thanks….they are cute though…why not keep them?”
We don’t do cats, I thought.
Well, we weren’t intending to keep any kittens or cats, if anything we would be looking for a dog, but not till we are back in the UK. So who could have them?
More crying…they were hungry. So I tried them with a little kitten food with water, which they seemed to like. One started chomping away with his/her paws right in the food and the other began gently licking round the food – signs of the sexes already emerging.
Eventually I got through to the ‘Cat Oracle’, alias one of the forces wives who runs the animal welfare group. Unfortunately, they had no funds at the moment and all the ‘foster parents’ were full up. The nearest place that would take them was a two and half hour drive away on the other side of the island. This was looking tricky. The kittens were now well snuggled up in some soft material in the cat box, fast asleep.
With the best intentions we tried to be logical and resolved to drive them to the rescue centre later that week once they had got over the trauma of being abandoned – big mistake! It started with a trip to buy evaporated milk and some kitten food…by the weekend we went in search of cat litter and a tray. By Sunday we were talking in terms of when we needed to get back to feed the kittens. Someone screwed up balls of newspaper for them to play with and let them fall asleep on his lap. But who has the heart to turn their back on two orphaned kittens?
The trouble is, these unexpected guests look like being here for some time. They may not need their sheets washing, but they like their meals on time and although they are good at entertaining themselves, they are always pleased to see us home.

hidden in the sand

Have you ever found something special hidden in the sand? Maybe a precious shell or a piece of jewellery left behind? You may have been pretty chuffed, but not as much as the archaeologist who started digging in the sand a few kilometres from here and probably couldn’t believe it when he uncovered a whole city buried in the sand dunes!

I think you can have too much of a good thing and walking round ancient ruins might not be everyone’s cup of tea…but despite recent trips to a ruined castle and a ruined abbey with our latest guests, yesterday we decided we couldn’t put off a visit to the ruined city of Salamis any longer. Arriving in the afternoon the sun was still beating down and with the sea at our backs looking an inviting blue, it was on with the sun cream and hats, bottles of water at the ready and we were all set to go ‘time travelling’…

Wisely, the help of a local guide was enlisted for half an hour and she was, as one person said, “worth her weight in gold”, even if comments were made about quite how much that might add up to, since she was not a small person. Like every great storyteller she immediately began painting pictures from the past of life in 300AD under the Romans or Byzantines as they later became. Her tales of naked bathing and gym sessions and eaves-dropping by the slaves in shared toilets ‘with a view’ brought to life the crumbling walls, alcoves and pillars as we trailed around the site. We could almost hear the rich young men splashing in the shallow baths, heated by hot air and special heat-holding bricks from beneath. Although the stone was now rough and worn in places we could still see the slabs and traces of the white marble that would have covered most surfaces. As I glanced up at a wall and columns towering above us and envisaged them coated in shimmering marble, I shivered to think how incredible the city would have looked in the sunlight. In many areas the beautifully coloured mosaics were still visible and intact and I have to confess we walked across them, as if they were tiles in our own hall. There were so many gems, like the remains of a fresco in an archway above our heads, the colours still strong with powder blue, greens and deep reds. We could see pomegranates and leaves depicted in mosaics and in other places more mosaics and areas that were still tiled with the original colours of black, white, red, orange and blues. There were constant sighs of ‘incredible’ and ‘come and see this’, as we wandered in amongst a network of rooms and half crumbled buildings.
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photo painting
Surprisingly, I have never been so informed about the origins of English words and phrases as I was yesterday, because our guide was a fount of information. For example, the low level semi circular area in one building housed a communal toilet, which looked across the gymnasium and exercise area where naked male wrestling was the top show. We gradually realised it was a pretty clean one all in marble with fresh water running continuously through it, unlike the rough dusty sandstone blocks above the drain that were all that was left today. Apparently people would sit here and rather than read a newspaper or a book privately, as you do, they would chat to each other and watch the wrestling! I didn’t spot any old stone toilet roll holders that’s because they used sponges on sticks instead…not a pleasant thought. Meanwhile, the slaves left outside the wall behind these toilets would listen in to private conversations in order to gain information and use this to bribe people later. It was this practice that led to the phrase: ‘the walls have ears’. So, phone hacking and listening in is nothing new, it was just a little less techie in those days, but just as dangerous. Further on in the site we saw the partly excavated amphitheatre which we expected to be semi-circular. No, explained the guide the word amphitheatre means two halves of a circle coming together, to either form a circle or an elongated circle. The semi-circular buildings with seats and chairs are technically called ‘theatres’…and she noted with a smile that it was amazing how many universities use the wrong word for their buildings, calling them amphitheatres when they are actually theatres.

We all became a bit blasé about the mosaics… saying, “I’ve found some more here!” behind another little low wall in a basilica, while everyone just nodded. The site was quite extensive and I believe the largest on the island. It included several acres spreading down the coastline with temples, forums, roads, baths, villas, a stadium, various basilicas or churches, a theatre and of course a gym. At one basilica we were searching for a special tomb, as our guide had given up on us by then, and I felt sure I had found a stone shaped hole the right size for a body – not everyone was convinced, as there were quite a lot of stones and holes for that matter! The afternoon included plenty of leaping between low walls and then nearly falling off them when a pair of giant lizards, or ‘Leonards’ as we call them, startled me. The guide had told us to be careful of snakes and we all held our breath slightly when one inquisitive member of the party decided to try and squeeze under a low roof at the bottom of some steps leading into a very dark cellar which would have made a good setting for an Indiana Jones sequel. “Be careful,” said the guide, “You may find someone else in there….it’s a good place for snakes.” After that I kept hissing quietly round corners and stamping my trainers heavily in order to warn any basking snakes I was armed and dangerous.

It was quite amazing to think that this was the place where St Paul landed on his very first missionary trip and that he had walked on these same mosaics and probably lent against a few of these actual pillars. In the forum there was a very lonely column with some fine leaf carvings that towered against the skyline and it seemed a little sad that this was all that was left from this immense building, part of a once bustling, cosmopolitan city. Although Salamis is just a ruin now, partly destroyed by two earthquakes, the last one did so much damage it was abandoned. But some of the inhabitants went to a nearby fishing village where they re-built their homes, palaces and churches with much of the rubble and stone from the broken buildings. The name they gave the city, now known as Famagusta, was ‘Ammochostos’, which in Greek means ‘hidden in the sand’. A fitting tribute to Salamis – the city they had left behind.

We eventually decided we were ‘ruined-out’ but I think I’ll be going back, if only to keep those snakes and lizards on their toes. But next time you start digging in the sand dunes remember that you never know what lies beneath…you may find another Salamis.

Cypriot harvest

I feel like I want to reach out and give Cyprus a great big hug today. Driving past ploughed fields of red soil, gazing across at parched olive groves and stony hills scattered with limestone rocks and scrubby green bushes, I’m beginning to feel connected to this barren part of the island.
There are friends here now – in the villages we pass – people we share a joke with or who subtly hand me baskets of fruit grown in their gardens and nearby orchards. We’ve been enjoying the delights of local fruits for the past week which has included succulent and sweet smelling guavas. Every time I open the fridge the scent is a reminder they need eating.
Last Sunday we came back laden from the Muktar’s house (like a village mayor), where we had joined in the special event to mark the 10th anniversary of his father-in-law’s death. His mother-in-law is a beautiful Cypriot lady. By beautiful I mean she is someone who spreads welcome, hospitality and care and it is this inner beauty that shines out. Small, with dark hair, olive skin and a smile that creases across her face right up to her twinkling brown eyes, she is often dressed in black and whenever I see her she is always bustling off to fetch food or drink. Even on this sad day remembering her husband’s death she had time for a joke, asking if I would be jealous if she sat by the Major! We were late arriving, but treated like honoured guests as dish upon dish was bought to the table from a pastry roll filled with olives to Cyprus delight (a kind of gelatine sausage made from grapes) and even a refreshing but strange dish of pomegranates and bugler wheat. The hospitality was amazing and we listened as they explained some of the Orthodox church traditions and how the different festivals and occasions were celebrated. The Muktar told us ‘name days’ are celebrated more than birthdays…people don’t know when their birthdays are, it doesn’t matter, but they all have a ‘name day’ when they celebrate the saint of their particular name. This could be a slight problem if you aren’t named after a saint! Anyone heard of Saint Rachel?
We talked about the war and the village and the struggles for local people and we laughed as different ones around the table were teased. Then we talked about Jerusalem, which his mother-in-law had visited over a number of Easter trips. There was talk of miracles, visions and strange happenings, and we listened enraptured by her obvious faith and assurance that God is very much at work, even in the midst of strife and conflict in that sacred city.
We left laden with various dishes wrapped in kitchen roll, a massive bag of grapes from her sister’s garden and as if we couldn’t carry anymore, she picked pomegranates from a tree in the front garden and these we’re bundled into our already full arms. It wasn’t just the food I was full from; it was how they had filled up our hearts, welcomed us into their home and made us feel part of something. I don’t belong here, but gradually I am feeling more connected with both the land and the people… and I’m looking forward to breaking open those pomegranates, since a knowledgeable friend told me the best way to deal with them.

in search of treasure

I love treasure hunts and this past week I’ve been introduced to an alternative sort of pursuit. In fact I’m not sure it is really treasure hunting at all, but it did involve clues, searching and finding things or sometimes not finding things.
We have prided ourselves in knowing quite a few of the major ‘must see’ visitor spots round and about and also some of the hidden gems, but suddenly last Saturday afternoon we found ourselves guided to places we had never been to before by my visiting sister-in-law and an iPhone app. At first this was a case of making unplanned detours on our journey to hunt out special locations which led us to an area called ‘ground zero’. First stop we found ourselves in a children’s park by an ancient medieval church. While some were intent on a hunt for a hidden canister, I wandered over to the pretty stone building and drew back the heavy bolt on the ancient wooden doors and stepped inside. It was lit by a soft glow of candlelight from small tea lights on a rough table with bowls of charcoal and bottles of incense and oil piled around in a homely state of untidiness. In front of the pale stone walls there were easels and tables scattered around with gilt framed icons, while some paintings were fixed on the walls. Further in I noticed ancient crumbling frescoes in blues, greens and reds still visible on the walls. In a darker area of the church, not penetrated by the candlelight, a pair of frescoes were just visible through the gloom. We all spent time peering at the worn paintings and images, captivated by this little ‘jewel’ on our doorstep. It was a fascinating little church and it is only about a mile or so from our house, but we probably wouldn’t have gone there without the ‘treasure hunt’.

The next day we ventured into our favourite walled city for a ‘frappe’ and a wander and here too were new discoveries. Following the arrows on the iPhone we climbed the mountain of steps without a hand rail to the top of the ancient Venetian-built walls. Here they were as wide as two cars parked end to end, and at the far corner there were views across the city and out to sea. It was beautiful and there also happened to be another hidden cache somewhere up there amongst the gaps in the walls.
church 3 church 2
Other searches involved looking underneath medieval canons and picnic tables, peering below low hanging branches and just generally scanning locations for clever hiding places. It’s probably obvious to some of you that I’ve been learning about ‘Geocaching’…it’s been fun and frustrating at the same time. I’ve enjoyed the way it’s taken us off the beaten track to a sunken church on the edge of a reservoir and remote paths to surprising viewpoints. But I’m slightly disappointed by the ‘treasure’ at the end of the hunt. At the very least I was hoping for a message in the hidden cache pots.

We found a message in a bottle once. We were on an island at the time and it was very exciting when we first spotted it bobbing near the shore. We waded out into the water to rescue it very intrigued about what might be inside and what secrets it would reveal…when we fished it out we saw there was a message inside. I thought it must be from a shipwrecked sailor and was all set to dial 999, but in fact it was a bit dull….so dull I can’t remember what it said, except that no one was in danger and I think someone had just thrown it in the sea to see if anyone would pick it up. We scrawled our own message and threw it back in the water further round the coast and tried to make the message slightly more dynamic.

Geocaching is a bit like this unsatisfactory experience…there are no mysterious messages to solve once you find the little box or container, you simply sign the paper inside and move on. The biggest excitement is finding a ‘travel bug’ which is a trinket that can travel round from cache to cache, so you don’t even get to keep it! Rather like a lot of things in life – the hunt was more exciting than the end result. Now if geocaches contained clues or maps to a small pot of gold or hidden jewels I could get into it… and then it really would be treasure hunting.

Where do loofahs come from?

If you thought sails were just for boats, think again. Here follows a tale of giant sails and cucumbers,,,
I knew there was trouble ahead when I came into the lounge and saw a very large bundle of cream material piled on the table.There was also a gathering of suspicious poles, bolts and what looked a bit like giant safety pins being placed strategically at the bottom of the stairs. Best plan of action was to allow the activity to continue and try to keep a low profile. I tried to ignore the banging and drilling, but eventually I was summoned to the roof terrace where help was required. Up on the top of the house it was all hands on deck where a huge sail was billowing – fixed now at two points to the roof I found myself holding a corner of the sail while other visiting helpers struggled to attach another corner to a pole with considerable heaving, stretching, wobbling on ladders and knots. Knots were the order of the day and there were bowlines in abundance and plenty of rope to secure and stretch the sail. At one point I found myself in danger of being lifted up with the wind as it gusted under our enormous sail shade, a few more mph and I could see myself becoming a human kite and floating off into the blue sky, while the ‘sail-makers’ were preoccupied with securing their knots. Anyway, after trips to buy paint and special expanding screws in strange dusty DIY stores and visits to neighbours to borrow drills that could tackle concrete, we eventually sank down under the wings of our giant sail shade – Mojitos in hand. We felt a bit like desert nomads, sipping our minted brews…and we all admitted that we liked the new ‘tent’ very much. Thank goodness for strings and things and sailing knots.

Later that night we were enjoying a meal at a favourite shack (not being rude that’s what it’s called) and my sister noticed what she thought might be giant cucumbers hanging from vines above our heads. They were half the length of my arm and I’d never seen cucumbers that size. Questions were asked about these strange marrow-like cucumbers.
No, they weren’t cucumbers….and all would be revealed said the owner, after we’d finished eating. But he gave us a clue: “you can’t eat them and you probably think they come from the sea.”
There was much pondering, of course I had a eureka moment and saw through their disguise…I’d seen a bunch of them on sale another day by the side of the road. Not much use to us as we don’t have a bath – these were ‘young loofahs’. The restaurant owner had one he’d prepared earlier in good Blue Peter fashion and showed us how, once dried, the skin could be peeled away to reveal the fibrous body of a loofah. Who would think when you spot them alongside the sea sponges and pumice stones on the shelves at Boots, that they are really ‘air pumpkins’ that have been dried out in the Mediterranean sun? Fancy keeping marrows or courgettes in your bathroom…
As for our sail… it’s still intact tonight, but come the winter tornadoes we may need to do some serious reefing or de-rigging to stop our little house being blown out to sea. I should have known living with a sailor would be unpredictable, but at least he has his sail and knots on the roof…all we need now is a flagpole!

Borderland shopping

I never used to take my passport when I went shopping, but then I’ve never lived in Cyprus before. Now my well stamped border paper and passport are an essential part of a trip to the city. That’s because shopping in the country’s capital is a peculiar experience.
Yesterday I strolled down Nicosia’s Ledra Street with a couple of family members, we past some familiar names like Debenhams, Peacocks and Starbucks and could have been walking through any European city centre. The several storey buildings loomed above us and cafe tables and A-frame blackboards with enticing offers spilled onto the pavement. But after a few minutes the shop fronts disappeared and we were wandering past a bare section of walls and barricaded fencing before we found ourselves in a queue at a customs kiosk. Our passports were examined and stamped and we continued on down the street into another world of shops and stalls, slightly scruffier this time, but also spilling onto the pavement with an array of goods, where new scents and sounds were on offer. It was a little like walking through the wardrobe into Narnia, but without the fur coats. The currency had changed to Turkish Lira within a few metres, yet it was the same street and the same city. This other side of the city looked poorer though and more run down, there were less high rise buildings and many more crumbling sections of concrete and simple shops selling anything from fake designer T-shirts and handbags to rolls of material and chunky baskets.
Stopping to admire some tablecloths, a stall-holder and his son began to chat to us.
“So you’re staying on the rich side and visiting the poor side are you?”
We felt a bit embarrassed by this and I promised to return another day, when I had room and time to buy a basket and a tablecloth. They pointed out the barricade at the end of a side street and shook their heads, “We’re not Turkey, we’re one Cyprus…it’s one country. We’re Cypriot”, they explained. Winding our way through the narrow streets of shops I knew what I was heading for, but which streets led there was another matter.
inn
After taking a circuitous route we eventually found the ‘Buyuk Han’ or Great Inn which dates back to the 1500s. Walking in through the archway we found ourselves in a walled courtyard lined with arches in a soft sandstone. In the middle was a domed hexagon shaped building, also with arches at its base. Round the corner wide steps led to the upper floor, which looked down on the courtyard, with rooms leading off, where travellers, and I imagine crusaders, would have stayed, leaving their animals to rest down below. Now the rooms are filled with artists and craftspeople, selling anything from painted glassware to jewellery and sculpture. It hasn’t lost its atmosphere though and sitting at the cafe tables below you could imagine being transported back to the days of Robin Hood and Richard the Lionheart, with camels and horses appearing in a ball of dust through the archway. In fact, this place wouldn’t have been there in that era…but why let the facts get in the way of my imagination?

Nicosia is filled with history and culture and I was keen to show off some of the bits I could remember from a fleeting visit a few weeks earlier. But I’m not the best with directions and maps and unfortunately my sister is no better! Still, we found ourselves at the ancient Cathedral of St Sophia, now a mosque. The massive gothic building had been carpeted throughout, two minarets tower above the arched windows and many of the carvings and statues have been chipped away to remove the Christian symbols. But it couldn’t take away the similarities with many gothic English Cathedrals. Carvings of leaves still adorned the door arches and curled themselves around pillars at the entrance, but it wasn’t quite Southwell Minster. I slipped off my shoes, wound a scarf round my shoulders and head and stepped inside. It was strange to feel the carpet on my bare feet and look up at the vaulted roof and massive pillars – Richard the Lionheart had been crowned King of Cyprus right here. If these walls and pillars could speak, what would they tell me?

We were keen to see some more of the history and walk along the massive Venetian built city walls, so after pouring over a map and turning it round a few times to see if that helped, we headed off in what we thought was the right direction. One of the party was sighing frequently and looking over his shoulder as the streets became more and more empty and the houses increasingly dilapidated. “Where are we going?” was the question…we were heading for the city walls of course, patience was required. More twists and turns and the only people we saw were children peering from behind half open doorways. A shrill whistle just beside us made everyone jump and we peered round to see a clutch of small children giggling at us from behind a parked truck. I think they knew something. Sometime later and no wall in sight we gave up on the map reading and wound our way back in the direction of the minarets, through more deserted alleyways and streets and even a motorbike graveyard hidden behind a corrugated fence. A collective sigh of relief was breathed when shops appeared and other people were walking past us! The wall was also eventually found, after we asked for directions (who does that?). Below the huge Venetian built walls we looked down into the massive moat which runs right round the city and part of which hosts a shared football pitch in the middle of no-man’s land, where young people from both sides can play. No matches were on today. Looking across the vast dried out moat between the walls we could see the UN headquarters, with its flag fluttering on top, in a former hotel that had seen much better days.
photo 2 photo 1
Finding our way back to the border crossing involved tackling another maze of streets that frequently led us to dead ends and barriers with a red sign of a soldier with a gun and a camera crossed out marked as a ‘forbidden zone’. As we skirted the buffer between north and south, the buildings became more and more derelict, some with war damage and many crumbling through neglect. Later, after we eventually crossed the border from one shopping street into another, we paused to look at the narrow gap between the buildings in no-man’s land. This little stretch of land, barely 10 feet wide, where several storey buildings towered above us, is called ‘Spear Alley’ after an incident where a soldier was killed by one from the opposite side simply leaning across with his weapon and running him through with his bayonet. Apparently at one time bayonets were strapped to broom sticks and there was jousting across the alley from the balconies above. This area of the city is called ‘the Green line’ and is a constant reminder, to all those who cross, of the deep divisions that remain. A few steps from Spear Alley as the first European shops emerged there was a bench and plastered into the wall above it a tile which read: PEACE. We sat there for a moment and wondered how long before that will become a reality for the Cypriots living on both sides of the line. I wasn’t in the mood for shopping anymore.

I want a donkey for Christmas

It’s started…I just saw a photo of the first Christmas tree that’s gone up in Nottingham. Oh dear, and even worse we are beginning to choose and practice Christmas songs in the Military Wives Choir http://www.militarywiveschoirs.org/ – whatever next? I’m not really complaining though because I’m very used to talking about Christmas in September or even July, which is exactly what Churchads.net does each year, trying to help churches engage with free advertising campaigns. This time around they have some interesting posters as part of the established ‘Christmas Starts with Christ’ campaign, which aims to save Christmas from becoming just another secular festival – do check out the posters on http://christmasstartswithchrist.com/ and tell me what you think.
I’m not really thinking Christmas though because it’s not the right weather yet. We’re having blustery days and what Cyprus calls ‘storms’. This seems to involve lots of wind, some clouds, and a few big drops of rain, that never really become anything. It’s hot and sunny, so I’m still waiting for what we call rain and locals have promised it will come….but not for a few weeks probably.
In the meantime I’ve been finding out about wild life on the island ( No, I don’t mean Aya Napa). A trip across the border took us to some amazing ‘umbrellaless’ beaches of golden sand where the only competition for space to lay out the beach mats were wild donkeys! Yes, we’ve been having a lovely time with Eeyore and all his family. The donkeys were amazingly tame and very happy for us to stroke them, coming right out into the road and getting cars to stop, so that people could pat or feed them through the window. One little herd (google says they can also be referred to as a drove or pace) came and grazed on grass in the sand dunes by the beach. We even had our own donkey who called round each morning and evening at the beach hut we stayed in overnight. He particularly enjoyed cheese rolls, but not sure if he should have had them. We all thought he looked thin and in need of building up.
donkey pic
The only problem we faced were the ‘donkey terrorists’. I didn’t realise they existed until one evening we were driving through a very donkeyfied area of wild country and spotted a red van stopped on the road ahead with some blokes shouting and waving their hands at a donkey, as we approached we realised with horror they were trying to scare it and get it to make a noise and they even picked up stones to throw as it trotted away into the bushes. Words of disapproval were spoken from the car and we drove on – the offenders were fairly large as it happened. Later they passed us and hooted and jeered. Disgusted and somewhat outraged by their behaviour on behalf of the very gentle wild donkeys of Cyprus, we all wondered what should be done. Various sticky ends were contemplated some which involved clearing their vehicle from the road and others wanted some unmentionable ‘army-type’ solutions. Unfortunately, none of us were quick thinking enough to take down their registration and report them to the police or possibly give their position to the Typhoon pilots currently training out here.